You have to fight.


Obligatory apology for not blogging: Sorry. I’ve been busy. Yada, yada.

In general, I’m a pretty passive aggressive person. Mostly because I don’t like confrontation. Unless you are only “real” to me through my computer, I am sending an email and know I can blame any attitude on “the lack of tone in emails”, or I know that I will never see you again.

So, when I stepped into church last week knowing that I was going to have to put up a bit of a fight, I was not super excited. Because, 1. that is God’s house, and no one should be fighting in God’s house; 2. old church ladies are nice; and 3. I have to see them every week, (or whenever we actually make it there on Sunday night).

You see, my church is quite large. And I love it very, very much. They have quite the set up for childcare, which is a total blessing. However, it is organized by some mish-mosh of age and developmental milestones. Every June, the kids are supposed to be moved up to the next room. Donovan had been in the baby room since he was three months old. So, by this point I was more than ready for him to move up to the big-kids room because he was the oldest kid in there. But, June came and went, and he was still being sent to the nursery. They had also started asking me if he was walking yet, but said nothing when I said “no”.

So, eventually, I put two and two together. He hadn’t been moved up because he couldn’t walk. Okay.

So, in we went on Sunday. We went through the normal routine. My answer was still no. But then I said, “has he not been moved up because he can’t walk yet?” hoping to God there was some other explanation. “Yes. It’s not safe for him.”

Really? Really?

Because, I’m pretty sure that the fellow 18-month-olds are not going to be shoving him down and stepping on his head. The boy is perfectly mobile. He’s not a lump. Because he cannot walk independently he is in danger?

No. Not okay. So, I basically told them that I felt that policy was fine in general, but that my son is not like everyone else. He can’t walk because he has Spina Bifida, and chances are that he wont be walking in the very near future. And that I think it’s unacceptable that he not be able to socialize with children his own age because of his disability. She halfheartedly agreed with me, stating that she had a niece with Spina Bifida (who is now in her 40s) and we went over to “Nursery 2” to ask permission that my son be able to come play with children his own age. They said “of course”, and in he went.

The check-in woman took us back to continue the check-in and told me we would need to ask permission every week. Seriously? I find that just plain silly. But, whatever. I’ll do it.

She walked us back to the nursery, gave Donovan a little pat and said he was great, and then said something super odd: “But he’s so cute.” Come again?

I’m not even going to begin to ponder what the “but” was based off of. It makes me angry. I know, in the end, she is an old-woman who is just a bit ignorant of things she should and should not say, and that’s okay. But I hope that my fight for my son at least gave her a little something to think about…

When do we start considering the intellectual “danger” of holding our children back because of the “danger” brought on by their physical delays?

My answer is now.


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Cassie says:

    We had to do the very same thing with our church. Caleb was stuck in a class with babies just because he wasn’t walking. It was even a struggle getting him in the room with the crawlers because he didn’t crawl at the “typical” age. I had a meeting with the children’s ministry leader and they agreed to let Caleb move up. I understand the policy but I don’t think it should apply to kids like ours.

  2. Mandi says:

    I’m proud of you.

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